So, you’ve had a reply to your initial request. What now? Well, there’ll be various things to sort out at this point, such as paying a deposit (I’ve blogged about this before, here) and discussing the final details of your session.
I usually find that if somebody is genuinely planning to visit me, we’ll get to a point where they have made their booking payment and we are all set within about 4-5 emails in each direction. If you do get a positive reply to your initial request then you’ve made a good first impression, but that can be ruined pretty easily if you suddenly change your requests, don’t follow clear instructions, or become too demanding.
I don’t check my emails that regularly – some days I don’t get a chance to look at all, or just get time to skim through senders and subject lines to see if there’s anything urgent. What’s pretty irritating when I do get time to sit at my desk and clear my inbox – with a cuppa and a human footrest, naturally – is seeing a whole heap of emails from the same person, sent in quick succession, expecting an immediate answer from me 24/7 regarding their potential one hour session in six weeks’ time. For example:
From: Nikki
Sent: 23 July 2016 15:58
To: Slave Persistent
Subject: Re: Session in six weeks from nowHi There
Yes, that sounds good to me. Let me know if you prefer to visit at 1pm or 3pm on that date.
Kind regards
Nikki
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From: Slave Persistent
Sent: 25 July 2016 21:45
To: Nikki
Subject: Re: Session in six weeks from nowHi Miss
3pm please. Is it OK for me to bring my pink frilly maid’s outfit with me, please?
Sissy Persistent
———————————————–
From: Slave Persistent
Sent: 25 July 2016 21:56
To: Nikki
Subject: Fw: Re: Session in six weeks from nowHi Miss
Why haven’t you replied to my email?
Sissy Persistent
———————————————–
From: Slave Persistent
Sent: 25 July 2016 22:34
To: Nikki
Subject: Fw: Fw: Re: Session in six weeks from nowMiss
Have I upset you somehow?
Slave Persistent
———————————————–
From: Slave Persistent
Sent: 25 July 2016 23:56
To: Nikki
Subject: Fw: Fw: Fw: Re: Session in six weeks from now??????
———————————————–
From: Slave Persistent
Sent: 26 July 2016 05:56
To: Nikki
Subject: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Re: Session in six weeks from nowYou still haven’t answered my email and it’s been ages since I last heard from you. Are we still on for my visit in 6 weeks from now??????????? I will have to cancel if I don’t hear back from you soon.
———————————————–
From: Slave Persistent
Sent: 26 July 2016 06:31
To: Nikki
Subject: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Re: Session in six weeks from nowDon’t worry about it, I’ll find another Mistress who is more interested in keeping her slaves happy as you clearly aren’t. You’ve missed out, I would have been the best slave you ever had, I was ready to give up everything in order to serve you. I am the most considerate and least selfish slave you could ever hope to have had serve you. You blew it big time and you will regret it, trust me! I’ll be spending all my money and time on Mistress ****** in future, she’s a far better Dominatrix than you anyway and much younger and prettier not to mention the fact that she charges £10 per hour less. I never wanted to see you anyway.
…As you can imagine, these types of emails leave me inconsolable.
A good example of not following instructions is how some people behave when they’re given my phone number. You will be given it once you have made a booking payment, in case you need it on the day of the session. You aren’t given it so that you can immediately (even if it’s past midnight – Dominatrixes are nocturnal satan worshippers anyway, right?) bombard me with text messages or whatsapps which you’ve probably typed sat on the loo with your cock in your hand, a month or more in advance of your 1 hour session with me. There is also no need to text me at 05:36 each and every morning just to say good morning and (presumably) try to earn sub points by demonstrating what a clever boy you are for waking up earlier than any of my other subs. You didn’t anyway, the others all texted me at 05:35. It’s all pretty harmless as the phone is permanently kept on silent and left in the dungeon anyway, but it does blot your copybook somewhat when I do get round to looking at it.
If I reply in the positive about your session request but state that I can’t make the exact dates and times you listed, it’s probably better not to email me back to say you’ve found a younger/slimmer/prettier/cleverer dominatrix who isn’t such a cow and CAN fit in with your schedule. Especially not if you plan to contact me again in the future about that session you wanted with me and actually expect a reply. Likewise, if I reply that most of what you requested is fine by me but there is something on your list which I won’t do, it’s better not to tell me that Mistress ****** does it and I should too or you will visit her instead of me. Different Mistresses have different limits, and we’re highly unlikely to change them because you said we should or threatened to go elsewhere to be “submissive” if we don’t agree to dominate you how you want.
Here’s an interesting phenomenon: some guys think their particular kink is tamer/easier/nicer for the Mistress to cater for than others, and therefore that she shouldn’t charge her usual rate for her time when performing their session. “Why so much just for ******?” I hear you cry! (****** in this case can be anything from foot worship, spanking or sploshing someone with a caterer’s size vat of baked beans, to sissy maid training or keeping someone incarcerated in my cell for 72 hours!) The answer is pretty simple – whatever your fantasy, I will be giving up my time to fulfil it for you. Also, please don’t be judgemental about other people’s fetishes – thankfully everyone is different and no fetish is worse/better than any other.
Following on from this, attempts to negotiate over session tributes are also a sure fire way to put me off wanting you to visit me. If you want to come to see me – to show your submission and express your admiration – you’re going to need to show me that you think my time is worth what I think my time is worth and not less. I never ever haggle, and see attempts to do so as a sign that you are not somebody I will want in my presence. If you can’t afford a session with me at the moment that’s fine, you can tell me so politely and I will not take offence in any way.
It’s also worth noting that I discuss sessions in an open and matter of fact way, but I will not be drawn into role-play over email – you’re not going to be talked dirty to, or given an erotic blow-by-blow account of what I’m going to do to you. Neither should you want or expect this – firstly, the session won’t be as much fun if you know exactly what’s going to happen, and secondly you should recognise that up until a point where my time is being paid for by you, I shouldn’t be expected to “play” with you. If you want an idea of the types of things I do and my demeanour, you can watch any of the thousands of videos of me in action on either my own or other femdom websites which I feature on.
If you can discuss our forthcoming session sensibly and sanely, can follow simple instructions as to paying a deposit and turning up for your session, then we should get to the point where everything is organised and we are looking forward to meeting pretty quickly and easily. Please always remember that the main thing here is that we ENJOY ourselves, femdom is meant to be fulfilling and fun for both sides, and my theory is that if we can’t get through the process of organising a meeting pretty painlessly then we shouldn’t meet at all.