This is covered briefly in my FAQ section but I think it’s worth covering in a bit more detail here as it comes up time and time again.
I receive several offers every week from subs whom I have never met and don’t know in the slightest, offering to come and do household chores for me. After all, they feel I am far too busy being dominant and cool to want to do these things myself. I also get regular offers from people, similarly unknown, who claim to want to give up their life and move in with me, to be at my beck and call 24/7 for the rest of their natural lives (which won’t be very long, going by their suggestions that I nourish them exclusively with my bodily waste!)
I receive several offers every week from subs whom I have never met and don’t know in the slightest, offering to come and do household chores for me. After all, they feel I am far too busy being dominant and cool to want to do these things myself. I also get regular offers from people, similarly unknown, who claim to want to give up their life and move in with me, to be at my beck and call 24/7 for the rest of their natural lives (which won’t be very long, going by their suggestions that I nourish them exclusively with my bodily waste!)
Both of these offers and a myriad of similar ones, taken at face value, seem very selfless and giving on the part of the submissive and, perhaps understandably, they feel insulted when they receive my polite refusal of their kind offer, or the response that I will be happy for them to serve me, provided they pay me my usual tribute for my time. This is probably why many of them respond to my refusal with a torrent of insults about how I’m not a proper Dominatrix anyway, I’m just a mercenary, I’m shallow and cruel (a cruel Dominatrix – quelle surprise!) etc., etc. However, when you look at these offers in a more objective way, perhaps my viewpoint will become more clear…
Domestic servitude:
1. I have never met you, and you want me to give up a day of my very limited free time in order to supervise you cleaning or otherwise working “for me”. By the way, you’d like me to be wearing head-to-toe rubber and 6-inch heels, wielding a whip and regularly punishing you when you spill things, break stuff, or just don’t carry out the work to my specifications. You also don’t want to work too hard or for too long, as it’s your day off work after all, and everyone needs some R&R time.
2. Whilst this is going on, I will not be able to session with others (i.e. earn money to pay for things like my premises and the aforementioned full rubber outfit) because you’re probably shy and don’t want to be seen by others, and even if YOU aren’t shy, my other visitors probably don’t want a chap in a pink satin dress and heels stumbling noisily around with a vacuum cleaner like an extra from a Queen video as they try to open up to me about their deepest, darkest femdom fantasies.
3. At the end of your time spent grafting for me at no gain to yourself (we’ll gloss over the part where you initially emailed me saying how serving me in that capacity would make all of your dreams come true), you think it’s only fair if I return your gift of time by giving you a free session. After all, I can’t really think that I’ve given you enough of my time already by supervising you all day, can I? It’s been YOU doing ME the favour, after all. Even if we overlook the fact you’d have already spent several hours under my supervision, if you consider how much I’d pay a professional for that duration of work, I won’t be owing you very much time at all. In fact I could take on a full time skilled and competent cleaner for the price of a couple of hours of session time with me (and I hopefully wouldn’t have to wear that pesky rubber outfit whilst they dusted my ornaments!)
4. You’re not insured like a professional cleaner/tradesman would be, so when you spill bleach on my carpet, paint the dog pink, flood the kitchen, cover every imaginable surface including plug sockets with a fine layer of caustic soda for no apparent reason, get over excited and spunk in the laundry basket or perhaps cause the toilet to overflow because you thought it’d be nice to put not one but five foaming disinfectant flush blocks in it (all these things and more have happened back in my foolish youth when I thought sissy maids and subbies could be left unattended) it’s me who has to rectify the situation. This is not to say that some of you aren’t or wouldn’t be excellent cleaners/workers, but the fact remains that if I’ve never met you and you have no intention of investing some time and money visiting me for sessions and gaining my trust then unfortunately I have no intention of investing anything in you either.
24/7 Live-in slaves:
1. First of all, I wonder whether you have considered just how odd it is that you should offer to give up your whole life and identity to relocate and become the slave of a woman you’ve never met and really only seen in a few videos (if you’ve even bothered to research me THAT fully), but I guess you have considered everything fully, because you declare in your (decidedly impersonal, cut-and-paste-looking) initial email that you LOVE ME ETERNALLY. Even though we’ve never met, and you have to pause briefly at the end of your grovelling email to ask me what nationality I am and which country you will need to travel to in order to fulfil your lifelong dream of serving me and only me.
2. You want me to keep you captive in my cell/shed/attic/cupboard under the stairs/cage at the end of my bed, with supervised toilet breaks, daily whippings, hour upon hour of supervised chores (me in that rubber outfit again, no doubt!) as, after all, you’re “a pathetic worm of no value whatsoever”, apart from seemingly all of my time, energy and dedication. It’s going to be just lovely having a snoring, farting, unknown man caged at the foot of my bed every night until he dies of scurvy, I can tell you! You won’t cramp my style at all. I’m such a lucky girl!
3. You are quick to point out that you won’t be paying me for the privilege of gracing me with your company forever, as I should want to do this (with a complete stranger) at no charge if I am a “proper lifestyle Dom”, and should appreciate your offer for the selfless and genuine one it is. If I bring up such subjects as the cost of board and lodgings nowadays, payment for my time, or the fact I’m just not sure I want a complete stranger to move into my home and share my whole life, I will be called out as the ungrateful money-grabbing charlatan that I am. It will be “my loss” and you’re going to tell everyone what a phoney “instadomme” I am unless I reconsider immediately.
4. Obviously very few, if any, people actually WANT to be a 24/7 live-in slave in its true sense – particularly to someone they’ve never even met – and I should imagine a similar number of people actually want to be 24/7 Dom/Domme to somebody, as it must be very draining both physically and emotionally – it’s certainly not my thing as I like to get out of that rubber catsuit and put down my whip sometimes. As soon as you write to a Domme offering this, you should probably be prepared that your offer will be treated with scorn, distaste, or in my case just the indifference I feel it deserves. As far as I’m concerned, if you make the offer in the first place then by default you’re not serious, as I make my feelings about such things clear on my website. Therefore there’s no need to even make the offer in the first place, if you’re as devoted and diligent as you claim to be, as you’d already know you’re not the sub for me, as much as you yearn to be.
To conclude, I’m very happy with my little crew of devotees who serve me personally to different degrees which fit in with both their lives and mine. They’ve all earned their positions of trust by various means over time, and I’m sure the main reason they have evolved the wish to serve me in a personal capacity as well as in session is because I have also earned a position of trust with them over the time we have known each other. I simply don’t have the time, energy or inclination to take a chance on giving an unknown this kind of privilege. The fact I don’t want you to come and serve me in this capacity is by no means a slur on your character – after all, we’ve never met – it’s just a reflection of the fact that I’m a very busy person and choose to spend what time I do have in other ways.
This is the testimonials thread – please read by clicking on the “comments” menu to the left, and add one of your own if you’d like!